The question "is my love marriage good or bad?" Is a common one. Both can be good and can actually be bad. This is especially true in arranged marriages where the family members aren't involved.
There are several reasons why arranged marriages fail in India. Arranged marriages are generally conceived of by the parents as a privilege. That is why many hesitate to get married and then quit when things don't work out the way they planned. Many times family members do not support it on moral grounds and prefer not to get into the business of arranging marriages.
Another reason why some marriages end up in divorce is because of the inability to come to terms with the first love. When the two marry they are both so caught up with the first love that they are unable to realize what the implications of this marriage are. Sometimes they may realize after the wedding that there is an inherent incompatibility between the two. In most cases the parents are the ones who take the couple into the wedding but sometimes either the bride or groom themselves may not be able to accept this. So, even if the parents of the bride and groom are very supportive of their marriage they may not feel it is right for them.
In arranged love marriages there is another dilemma faced by both the husband and the wife. They are both too caught up with their first love that they fail to realize the importance of their other relationship. Hence in such marriages where the two people are married for different reasons it is often not possible for them to realize that they have fallen in love with each other. This leads to a constant fight within the marriage. No one is willing to back down from his/her ideals or to compromise on his/her principles and values.
There is another problem faced by many in arranged love marriages. Since brahmins in India are associated with lower castes the wives are expected to stay home and take care of their husband and children. This leads many to marry outside of their caste and hence find it difficult to get married in the first place. If you too are looking to get married in an institution of your own choice and in a country of your own faith then you must do a lot of soul searching to understand how arranged marriages work in India and if they are good or bad.
Another question that you should ask yourself is whether you really want to live with your partner until death? What does your love mean to you? Why do parents oppose love marriage? I will try to answer these questions in this article.
The main reason that parents opposed love marriages is that they did not wish to involve their children in a system that treated others differently. The concept of love marriage involves a strong commitment on the part of both partners and is therefore seen as a violation of the Brahmin culture. Marriages between a Brahmin and a Non-Brahmin are not very common and hence the prevalence of inter caste marriages. In the past, when non-Brahmin men and women were considered to be close to the gods they were believed to seek happiness in temples, but times have changed since then.
However, the fear of losing their customs does not prevent people from getting married. It seems that people prefer arranged marriages over love marriages. But the question is why do they do so? Is it because they feel that they will lose something if they marry someone outside their caste? Or is it just because they are unable to find true love within their own community?
